i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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