It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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