would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
