The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
