I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
