I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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