It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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