I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
