Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
