I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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