someone owes me an orgasm
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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