Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
