i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I stole a fireplace last night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The feeling are messing with the penis
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
