thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Your mouth is God's brothel.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
