You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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