Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
