Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
