This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
