let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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