I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize