why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
