dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
