The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
