WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
