summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
