my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
