Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just found puke in my bra..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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