Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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