my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
