Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
