My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
