you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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