he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
