I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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