i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
A+ Viking dick
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
