There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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