Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
