Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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