That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize