I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
we made out on top of his cat.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I am available for nakedness
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
