so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
