You're my little dorito
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
