Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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