I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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