I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We need to get me chipped asap
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
