the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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