and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
