dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
