oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
