He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
