Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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