I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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