That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
