nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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