I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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