Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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