If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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