I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
