I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
