At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
