i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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