drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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