i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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