This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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