Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
