What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
