i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize