we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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