U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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