Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
