Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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